Happy Days

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                              HAPPY DAYS

                              A.A. MILNE




                              HAPPY DAYS

                                  BY
                              A.A. MILNE


                               NEW YORK
                        GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY







                               FOREWORD


This book is made up from my contributions to _Punch_--a casual
selection from the four hundred or so which have appeared in the last
nine years. It is offered to the American public as a sample of that
_Punch_ humour (and perhaps, therefore, British humour) which Americans
so often profess not to understand. According to whether they like it or
do not like it, I hope they will consider it a representative or an
unrepresentative sample.

                                                                  A.A.M.





                              CONTENTS


                              MARGERY

    CHAPTER                                             PAGE

      I. ~Her Sock~                                       13

     II. ~How We Play the Pianola~                        20

    III. ~The Knight of the Chimney-Piece~                27

     IV. ~The Art of Conversation~                        32

      V. ~Afternoon Sleep~                                38

     VI. ~A Twice Told Tale~                              44

    VII. ~The Literary Art~                               50

   VIII. ~My Secretary~                                   56

     IX. ~The Truth About Home Rails~                     62


                       LIFE'S LITTLE TRAGEDIES

      X. ~A Crown of Sorrows~                             71

     XI. ~The Lucky Month~                                76

    XII. ~The Rescue~                                     83

   XIII. ~The Portuguese Cigar~                           90

    XIV. ~A Cold World~                                   96

     XV. ~A Breath of Life~                              103

    XVI. ~The Doctor~                                    113

   XVII. ~The Financier~                                 120

  XVIII. ~The Things That Matter~                        126


                          THREE STORIES

    XIX. ~The Making of a Christmas Story~               135

     XX. ~A Matter-of-Fact Fairy Tale~                   151

    XXI. ~The Seaside Novelette~                         166

      OUT-OF-DOORS

   XXII. ~The First of Spring~                           181

  XXIII. ~The Coming of the Crocus~                      188

   XXIV. ~The Landscape Gardener~                        195

    XXV. ~Pat-Ball~                                      202

   XXVI. ~Ten and Eight~                                 208

  XXVII. ~An Inland Voyage~                              214

 XXVIII. ~One of Our Sufferers~                          221

   XXIX. ~Chum~                                          228

    XXX. ~"Under Entirely New Management"~               234

   XXXI. ~A Farewell Tour~                               241


                            INDOORS

  XXXII. ~Physical Culture~                              251

 XXXIII. ~An Insurance Act~                              258

  XXXIV. ~Getting the Needle~                            264

   XXXV. ~Dressing Up~                                   270

  XXXVI. ~The Complete Kitchen~                          276

 XXXVII. ~An Informal Evening~                           283

XXXVIII. ~A Billiard Lesson~                             290

  XXXIX. ~Bachelor Relics~                               297


                   LITTLE PLAYS FOR AMATEURS

     XL. ~"Fair Mistress Dorothy"~                       305

    XLI. ~"A Slight Misunderstanding"~                   312

   XLII. ~"Miss Prendergast"~                            319

  XLIII. ~"At Dead of Night"~                            326

   XLIV. ~"The Lost Heiress"~                            335

    XLV. ~"The Literary Life"~                           340


                        SUCCESSFUL MEN

   XLVI. ~The Solicitor~                                 349

  XLVII. ~The Painter~                                   356

 XLVIII. ~The Barrister~                                 363

   XLIX. ~The Civil Servant~                             370

      L. ~The Actor~                                     377

     LI. ~The Collector~                                 384

    LII.