Welcome to The Splinter Report, where I gather the assorted interesting and amusing things I’ve seen in the woodworking world. This week was a short one on account of the holiday, so I’m looking back at some of my favorite segments.
Local Oddity: Grandpa’s Pinball Machine
Now here’s something you don’t see every day: a very analogue wooden pinball machine.
Phil from Woodsmith recently restored this vintage toy for a cousin. The rounded end had become brittle and shattered, so he soaked a thin strip of oak for a few days and bent it to shape to replace it. He then stained it to match the old finish. The game board itself had a shellac finish that was alligatored. He wiped it down with some alcohol to smooth it, then gave it a wash coat of shellac. Finally, he applied two coats of paste wax and installed new nails and rubber feet.
I personally feel like items like this are at risk of being lost to time. It originated a toy, which would result in a harder life. It’s not furniture or the type of craft that would make it an heirloom, so it would be more likely to end up in the trash. Seeing one restored to full functionality is a good feeling.
Woodworking Urban Legend: George Washington’s False Teeth
For a very long time, George Washington’s wooden teeth were amongst the most famous wooden items in history. Information about his wooden dentures was shared in textbooks, biographies, and by historians.
There was a slight problem though, as they never actually existed.
I mean, our first president certainly used false teeth, it’s just that weren’t made out of wood. Instead, he used teeth made of other materials, including gold, or human teeth.
I actually remember learning this “fact” in school in the 1990s, long after the myth had been debunked by historians, a sign of how pervasively ingrained it was. Where did this tall tale come from though? According to the Mt Vernon Library, it turns out we don’t really know.
The origin of this myth remains unclear. The standard, and most likely, explanation given by dental scientists and historians is that the materials employed in the dentures fabricated for Washington by dentist John Greenwood became stained over time, giving them a grained, wooden appearance that misled later observers.
What’s even stranger for me is that wooden teeth were not commonplace at all. In fact, outside of a stretch of time in Japan, wood was never a widely used material for false teeth. I actually remember some book I was reading as a child making note of that information; how strange it was for Washington’s teeth to be made of wood when nobody else’s were. And yet, despite being so close to the truth, the book reiterated that Washington’s teeth were in fact, wooden.
As an aside, can you imagine how much wooden teeth would suck? Outside of some of the exotic hardwoods, most wood is going to immediately deteriorate in human saliva, especially combined with the mechanical wear of chewing. So then you just have a mouth full of wet wood. It’s a sensory nightmare.
The woodworking world is no stranger to falsehoods getting passed on time and time again until they effectively become fact. Shea Alexander wrote an article about it just a few weeks ago, and Christopher Schwarz did likewise a decade ago. It still is notable, though, that a blatantly incorrect fact managed to survive for over 150 years about probably the most famous person in American history.
Oh, and the other George Washington wood-related story, the one about cutting down the cherry tree? Also a myth.
Out of Context Christopher Schwarz Quote
“In the end, good work comes from the hands, not the bench.”
Video of the Week: Bribery
I did not make it to Handworks last week, but YouTuber Chad Metcalf did. Here’s his rundown of the event through his eyes.
Anything interesting I missed this week, or that you want me to highlight in a future Splinter Report? Let me know on social media or drop me an email at [email protected].