We spend almost $50,000 a year on childcare. It's helped me build the career I wanted.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Karina Monesson, a working mother of four. It has been edited for length and clarity.
My husband and I work full-time corporate jobs. He is in behavioral health, and I work for a technology company.
We have four children, ages 11, 5, 2, and 1. Our two youngest are in full-time day care, and my 5-year-old is in kindergarten.
We will pay $49,064 in childcare this year
We pay $22,204 a year for our 1-year-old and $19,760 for our 2-year-old for their full-time day care. We got lucky; my 5-year-old started going to kindergarten the same year we had a baby, so we narrowly missed having three in full-time day care.
We pay $2,100 for seven weeks of summer camp for our 5-year-old, and $5,000 for 10 months of before and after-school care. Our numbers for the 2026-2027 school year will be significantly cheaper than 2025-2026 because our 11-year-old won't be doing after care, and we will be in less expensive day care tuition classes.
I shared our childcare expenses on social media, and it went viral
There were two primary responses related to our expense. The first was that day care is awful, and children thrive when they are home with their parents. People said it's best for everyone to have a child at home with a parent full-time, or at least with a nanny, grandparent, or something similar.
Having a nanny in our home was not an option. We don't have room for one; I work from the nursery. I'm sure if we had room for a nanny, I'd be more distracted when the kids were home.
The other reaction was that I should quit my job and raise my own children. That response speaks to the idea that it's impossible to be a good mother and a working mother simultaneously, and that if you're not with your children 24 hours a day, someone else is raising your children.
I believe that our high childcare costs are worth it
Earlier in my career, I wasn't making that much money after the childcare expenses were said and done. But now I work a corporate job, and I do make enough money to cover the cost of childcare, and more.
Because of day care, I've been able to fully show up in my career. I'm really intentional about the house when I'm not working, too, and I show up as the kind of mother I want to be. I have four children, which is unusual as a leader in a tech company, but I also bake sourdough, have a vegetable garden, and do yoga. I'm extremely intentional about the time I have with my children.
Having day care has put us in a position to save for early retirement, and I feel grateful and confident about our financial situation, even though day care eats up a lot of our budget. But I know there is no way I could have grown my career to the point where we'd have this kind of financial stability without day care.
I think women can have it all, just maybe not at the same time
Being a mom is hard in general. I juggle a lot. One of the mantras I keep coming back to is that some balls are glass and some are rubber, and I have to know which ones are glass in the moment.
That means staying up late to get work done or missing a board meeting for kindergarten graduation. I'm constantly navigating between the two. You can't always have it 100% all of the time, but it is possible to show up as a fully present mother and a successful working mother.
It's also exhausting at times and not easy. Right now, my baby is sick, and I've been sick for a week and a half after coming back from a business trip.
There are moments like that where it feels really overwhelming and difficult to show up as both.

Facts Only

* Husband works in behavioral health; author works for a technology company.
* Family consists of four children aged 11, 5, 2, and 1.
* Annual childcare costs are $49,064 this year.
* Day care costs include $22,204 for the 1-year-old and $19,760 for the 2-year-old.
* The 5-year-old is in kindergarten; the youngest are in full-time day care.
* Summer camp cost was $2,100 for seven weeks; before/after-school care cost was $5,000 for ten months.
* Projected costs for 2026-2027 will be cheaper than 2025-2026 due to schedule changes.

Executive Summary

A working mother of four details significant childcare expenses and reflections on balancing career and family life. The family covers $49,064 in childcare costs for the current year, including specific amounts for full-time day care for their youngest children ($22,204 for the 1-year-old and $19,760 for the 2-year-old). They also incur costs for summer camp and before/after-school care. The family projects that childcare expenses will decrease for the 2026-2027 school year due to changes in the children's schedules and tuition rates. The author shares public reactions, noting responses that criticized day care and favored children being home with parents versus those suggesting quitting work to raise children. Ultimately, the author asserts that the high cost of childcare is justified by the financial stability achieved through their corporate jobs, which allows them to pursue their career while engaging in intentional family life and personal interests.

Full Take

The narrative presents a tension between the perceived necessity of high financial investment in childcare and the lived experience of balancing professional ambition with parental roles. The backlash—both advocating for children at home and urging career sacrifice—reveals an underlying societal conflict regarding the valuation of caregiving labor versus economic productivity. The author reframes this conflict by demonstrating that the financial stability derived from their careers, facilitated by the cost of childcare, enables a specific lifestyle. This suggests that the ability to sustain high-level professional engagement and intentional parenting is contingent upon achieving economic security, positioning childcare not merely as an expense but as a structural enabler for complex roles. The internal reflection on juggling competing demands—the "glass and rubber balls" metaphor—acknowledges the inherent exhaustion of managing simultaneous, often contradictory, priorities. The pattern observed is one where systemic support (or lack thereof) shapes individual agency; the cost structure dictates the parameters within which successful integration of career and family is negotiated. The focus shifts from the moral imperative of being "present" to the structural reality of achieving a specific kind of present tense, forcing an examination of what 'success' truly entails when navigating scarcity in time and resources.

Sentinel — Human

Confidence

This text reads as a personal narrative sharing lived experience, using specific details to explore the tension between career ambition and motherhood, rather than an objective report.

Signals Detected

Natural flow with occasional conversational cadence and reflective tone.

Passionate reflection on personal experience; the synthesis of opposing viewpoints feels genuine rather than machine-balanced.

The text is tightly focused on a personal narrative, lacking the repetitive framing of aggregated reporting.

Human Indicators

Use of highly specific, personal financial data and logistical details (e.g., $49,064 childcare, ages 11, 5, 2, 1) which suggests direct experiential origin.

Incorporation of non-quantifiable emotional states and internal mantras ('some balls are glass and some are rubber') that signal a personal voice.

The narrative arc moves from concrete financial data to abstract philosophical reflection, characteristic of personal essay writing.