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Nineteen-year-old Iris Dekker from the Netherlands recently ended her life just five days before her 20th birthday by a practice known as voluntary stopping eating or drinking (VSED).
Iris’ parents recently spoke with The Free Press, sharing their hearts concerning their daughter’s decision.
The Dekker parents explained that Iris had suffered for six years with functional neurological disorder (FND), a debilitating combination of depression, hysteria, neck pain, back pain, headaches and even seizures and paralysis.
Iris spent the last two years of her life in a wheelchair and in years prior had tried cognitive behavioral therapy, school counseling and pain medication.
Her mother, Cissy, a former forensics nurse, reported that Iris’ eyes were “empty,” and that she consistently begged, “Can you put a pillow over my head so I can die? Please make my suffering stop.”
At 16, Iris was legally able to apply for voluntary euthanasia, where medical professionals assist a person in their suicide. The Netherlands was the first country to legalize this practice, beginning in 2002. At age 16, a minor must inform their parents of their decision, but doesn’t need their consent.
Until her application was approved, Iris continued medication trials and psychotherapy, but she reported no relief from her symptoms.
Her dad, Omar, also a nurse, explained, “She wanted to make sure she had tried everything so the euthanasia clinic couldn't reject her application.”
After her paperwork was accepted, Iris was able to be admitted to hospice in Feb. 2026, where she starved herself under medical supervision and was eventually placed on palliative sedation.
Cissy said, “As a mother, I don't want my little girl to die,” Cissy told the outlet. “But out of love, I also don't want this life for her.”
Cissy and Omar shared that losing their daughter was heartbreaking, but it was her decision.
In her final days, Omar reported that Iris finally laughed for the first time in years and that she seemed more full of life, knowing she found relief in escaping her pain.
In her final days, Iris said, “I've had everything. I've had a good life. I have good friends. I have loving parents. I worked in a bakery when I was 14 — it was the best job I've ever had. I know I'm going to be sick for the rest of my life. I'm not getting better. For me, life is fulfilled. It's completed.”
Sadly, Iris’ story isn’t new. Assisted suicide is not only a modern practice but is a theme in entertainment, like popular books and films, most notably the book series-turned-film, "You Before Me."
This, along with widespread news coverage and social media input concerning Iris’ story, gives Christians no choice but to stand firm in the truth that life is only God’s to give and take while remaining empathetic to those who are in so much physical and mental pain that the only relief seems to be ending their life.
We can’t be afraid to ask God hard questions concerning these cultural debates, nor can we be lazy and neglect studying Scripture, where God offers guidance and answers in all things, even those that weren’t cultural concerns in ancient times:
“But I trust in you, Lord; I say, ‘You are my God.’ My times are in your hands; deliver me from the hands of my enemies, from those who pursue me. Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love.” - Psalm 31:14-16
May we believe that our story is never without God’s mercy and grace. May we never count out miracles just around the corner. And may we endure suffering as Christ did, searching for God’s good, perfect sovereignty in it all.
"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." - 1 Peter 5:10
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Gorodenkoff
Peyton Garland is an author, editor, and boy mama who lives in the beautiful foothills of East Tennessee. Subscribe to her blog Uncured+Okay for more encouragement.
Originally published July 09, 2026.
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